BEDM?

I like writing. Also, falling asleep while watching TV (I'm still a teenager I swear), listening to podcasts on the bus, barbeque sauce over ketchup, and apparently extreme procrastination. Give me an externally imposed deadline and I'll meet it. My perfectionist self is too scared of failing to meet expectations or letting people down. Watch me set up a blog and I'll update it every...well, I'm writing a post right now. At best my procrastination is driven out of simple laziness relaxation optimisation. Watching the latest ep of a half hour comedy is less taxing and more instantly gratifying than starting an essay or updating this blog. At worst, and most of the time, it's driven by anxiety. Did the word perfectionist jump out at you? 

Occasionally, however, I get good spurts where I get writing done while knowing there isn't someone waiting on my email. Where I do things that I know are ultimately more rewarding than spending an hour on BuzzFeed. I'm in one right now. I'm even spending less time on tumblr in favour of reading Americanah. (Obviously, it helps that it's a fantastic book.) The only problem is maintaining these spurts. They don't come around often enough for me to rely on them. Eventually the itch, the I-must-write-and-apply-for-jobs-and-try-to-eat-healthily feeling goes away. It takes to work to sustain things and I'm hoping that I'll finally get into the habit of being consistent. 

Recently, I completed VEDA (aka vlog every day in April.) You can find a playlist here. I created a video! Everyday (minus two) for a month! The drive to put up a video every single day or I won't complete this took on the role of my externally imposed deadline. A ton of other things helped too, for example I have a wonderful audience so I get the reward of reading their comments and knowing that people like something I've made. Also, for the sake of being honest, for me making a video tends to take less concentration than writing. Plus, I hadn't made a video in a while and it's accepted, because it's impossible to do it any other way, that people put up videos that aren't their best work during VEDA. I'm still feeling pretty chuffed with myself, which means it's time to try BEDM. 

Originally, Vlog Every Day in April was Blog Every Day. Since I'm still riding on the wave of VEDA success I'm going to try and blog everyday this month. Unfortunately, BEDM doesn't have quite the same ring to it. Also, the unedited, one take videos that I sometimes relied on during VEDA aren't possible in blog format. But, even if I end up posting half arsed haikus I'm going to try it. It's time for my all or nothing mentality to engage. Since getting lots of practice through writing for my student paper this year and generally being more in control of my anxiety, I find writing less stressful. My enjoyment of it isn't overshadowed as much. I'm actually excited. It'll be fun to see the range of posts I put up and figure out if I can find a theme for this blog. 

See you tomorrow,
Ayomide